I talked to a friend whose older brother had always admired him because he, my friend, had formed and played in a band, wrote well, is now finishing a book, and paints pictures. Yet my friend felt he’d done nothing to compare to his brother’s skills and importance.
His brother was a kind man and excellent father and grandfather, whom all the young ones called, “Poker” because he’d gently tap their tummies to tickle them. My father, like most North American Dads in the 1950s, was not one to hug and tickle, but he was honest, hard working and ever learning. He and my mom attended college classes all my growing up years, often together. My brother Don and I were deposited in the back seat of my parent’s Ford and we followed their geology classes through the western states. Don and I were given mini classes as we rode so as soon as we “arrived” other tourists would be quietly snapping photos of the scenery. My family excitedly faced the other way and fluttered fists to our chests saying things like, “Oh, my! Just look at that HOGBACK!”
My father was a skilled electrical engineer who stayed up late reading various things, making furniture, building models, faceting gems, or casting silver jewelry. We RENTED a house for a year in Lincoln Nebraska, as he finished his Ph.D.. He, Don my brother, and I weeded every plant from the brick patio. “Why are we doing this? We don’t own this house.” His answer was constant and patient and always the same, “We’re doing this because we leave places better than we found them.”
He honestly told us we would be short financially for a while, not to worry about food, but we’d work together. A few times he asked to borrow my saved up Christmas money for a month, offered to pay interest, always paid me back on time and told me when he’d done so. Don and I never needed to be part of a gang. We were already very important and part of something big.
Our importance lay in our family. I can see my Dad’s profound “pokes” in so many parts of my life and I’ve “poked” my children, my husband, his family, my neighbors, and friends, and I wonder when we compare life stories with each other in the world to come, I wonder if good fathers will be recognized as history’s greatest men, having influenced the world more profoundly than politicians, war leaders, actors, and artists. nancymauerman.com