Green Olive Bafflement

I stopped in at Home Town Pizza on my way to His Bakery yesterday, just to say ‘hello’. I explained to the nice man I didn’t want to order this time, I just wanted to meet the creator of Portland’s best pizza, having only ordered by phone and received delivery all these years.
“We’re the ones who have been leaving green olives at your back door periodically.” I told him. He just looked baffled, so I continued, “Yea, it’s been awhile, but we leave a couple of jars outside your door in mornings before you open and call in an order the same evening. Because we’d been told previously, ‘ We don’t put green olives on our pizza.’ and my husband would say, ‘Well, you should.’ But after a G. O. delivery John could say , ‘Yes you do. I left some at your back door.’ and then we’d get a vegetarian, green olive, pizza pie delivered.”
The man, I found out was the owner of the family business, WAS STILL BAFFLED. He said, ” We don’t have a back door.”
I pivoted around and around on my side of the counter and perused the back wall. I know this is probably like his second home and it’s a very small room so he probably also knows every inch but, he can’t be right. He was. No back door.
He told me, “There’s a back door to the building but not to this room.” Now I’m baffled.
I can only guess that flying persimmons were hovering over the building and triggered an official military incident. They caught the green olive jars that were flying around too and then broke into Home Town’s store front, with jars in hand. They checked to see if there were any other flying vegetationary objects. They must have forgotten to take the olives with them when they left. So when John called, the man looked down and said, “Oh yea, green olives.” Then he forgot the whole thing, it being such an odd incident that it didn’t find a place in his mind. This happened in WW I, when the British painted immense angular shapes on their giant battleships in nice pinks, pale greens and other delicious story book colors. Because looking at such a thing through periscopes scrabbled the brains of their enemies, it’s called dazzle paint.
That could explain the first time we left olives; I can’t understand the next several times so I’m still baffled.   nancymauerman.com

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