“I didn’t know what I said until I said it!” John told me after explaining his dream to me. The dream made no sense until he verbalized it.
Negative self labeling is powerful whether it’s a generic, “I’m a bad boy,” or more a specific,”I’m not good at spelling.” As soon as we say something like this we start living down to it. Of course we find evidence and confirmed the diagnosis because we’re in the frame of mind to find faults and then we slide down a few more steps. Why not use a good self label and say, “I find spelling interesting. I’m learning a LOT.”
Self labeling is powerful and verbalizing it gives it great strength. For many years I discussed ethics with teens. I’d set up a dilemma and ask their opinion knowing that like John if they talked out loud they would discover truths as well as PIECING TOGETHER HALF IDEAS and teach us all wisdom. They were terrified of verbalizing therefore labeling themselves to themselves as well as the others. Then I learned to say, “Whatever you say now you can change at any time as you think things out.” It was a relief!