Flamboyant Flatulence

I met a lovely lady while shopping today and complimented her on her bright lavender blouse and large crystal necklace, that sparkled and winked colors without her even moving. She thanked me for the complement, telling me she loves them although her gentleman friend doesn’t.
“If you ask him if he likes what you wear what dose he say?” I asked.                               “He just tells me I’m looking for a compliment.”
On the way to the car I told John her story remarking she appears to be the type of flamboyant person who often needs a great deal of positive attention.
John answered, ” I thought I was flamboyant.” which stopped me mid step as I imagined him in a elaborately knitted bright lavender shirt, which would NEVER happen because he only wears wild prints in various browns, calling them, “camouflage”. Then I quickly imagined him in a brilliant wind breaker instead of his eternal hunting camo printed coat, with threadbare sleeves. What used to be the bottom hangs its strings, hangs down three inches. I have to watch it or I’ll break out singing,’ Davy, Davy Crockett.’ I though perhaps he thinks the fringed bottom and sleeves are flamboyant until he said, “but it was just gas.”  nancymauerman.com

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