Solving the problem:THAT GIRL’S GONNA GET HIT!
I loved John’s attitude. As a psychiatric nurse at a permanent care facility his idea wasn’t to dominate the mentally ill clients, bully, or demean them. He believed and acted as though he was a butler to special friends and actually their employee. One day a massive, unshaved, severely non- showered (therefore smelly), man argued with another worker. The worker was a small young woman and he hovered, ready to pounce; over her. She insisted the big guy, in vulture mode, COULD NOT go bowling with the rest of the residents. HE had not earned enough points (as reflected in his smell and decoratively stained shirt .)
Their argument got louder, the posturing closer; the care worker was going to get hit!

So John sundered over. He asked the woman if he could take the lead. She nodded yes.
John said, “Oh, I’m sorry. We can’t do without YOU! We’re having a party and you’re the guest of honor! You might want to go get cleaned up, and put on some clean clothes.”
IN LESS THAN A HALF HOUR the big man walked into the common room, IN A SUIT and clean shirt and newly showered man, excited to stay behind.

John’s attitude is to be a tool in order to help others succeed. Great fun for him and the big man felt an honored guest instead of a failure in a systemic game he didn’t understand. The woman succeeded in going home at the end of her work day instead of the hospital!   nancymauerman.com