The title of the picture below is CalapanderJohn is not at all the kind of man who would be interested in a room full of antimacassars, those dainty dollie things covering the arms of couches and chairs. What he would love to be surrounded with are calipers; a word I modified for this picture, a measuring device that opens and closes like flattened adjustable wrench.

Are you ever stuck with the TV program your husband picked and it’s TOO LOUD? I often am and I love it. Let me tell you why. As soon as the heater pounds through the air or I crunch a chip I’ve lost some of the dialogue to UFO, AIiens Should Land in Washington DC.

I say, “John, would you turn it up a tiny bit? Just a tiny bit.” and by that I have in mind one hatch mark’s worth of sound on the TV screen’s volume indicator. I see the indicator run up the scale 1,2, 3, a hesitation, then 4 hatch marks! I’m surprised every time because my mind says one thing and I get yelling people instead but I smile. What I hear may be uncomfortable but what I’ve seen is, “Nancy wants volume.”= one click. “I love Nancy.” = the second click. “I really love Nancy, I want to give her extra love.” = too loud.

Calapander’s Antimacassar, a small painting, hangs behind the chair John directs TV from so when he stands up the most of the painting disappears. Only a blue and yellow halo shows around his head. So fitting.  nancymauerman.com

Calapander’s Antimacassar – Framed