“If they don’t want to know. Why do they ask?” I hear people say then, and generally a tiny flare of irritation soon fades and they say, “But sometimes I also say, ‘How are you?”and I don’t mean it.”
I’ve been interpreting what they’re TRYING to say in spite of the words they use and here are some possibilities;
1. to those we know rather than, “How are you?” We can say, “What a delight to know you’re still alive and kicking”
2. To those we don’t know, “I’m glad to be alive and very glad to live in a free land where almost all the people are functioning properly, like you and I, rather than walking around befuddled waiting to be carried away to Babylon as a slave.”
3. “My life is just a little bit better with you in it. Thank you very much!” or
4. “You may be useful to me sometime, so lets establish the warm fuzzys in case you are.”
5. “Are you an enemy? I can’t tell. Oh, I have an idea, I’ll ask you a stupid question and if you don’t glare and scowl or hit I’ll mark you down as somewhat friendly.
6. “I love you as a brother, but I’m not going to say it in public.”
7. “I think you’re just wonderful!”
Of course, if you presented somebody with any one of these, they’d still come home to their helpful wife and say, “What was I suppose to say to THAT!”
Most of us aren’t trained in honest greeting techniques so I suggest you make a copy of the above list, keep it on your person at all times,. You can pull it out when ever you see someone coming your way and rather than letting him pass you by, hold him still (not physically if he’s unknown) and read through this list quickly, and pop out the appropriate but honest greeting.
I’m sure many of you kind readers will want to add to the list, so I’ll collect, list and publish them here for the betterment of society.    nancymauerman.com