A Letter to Dead Man and Outsider Art

I drew the picture below just before I met my dead husband. Of course at that point he was very much alive and John you saved my life. I might have easily become homeless. You are so male! I loved the way you moved- remember how I’d stare at you as you simply sat in your chair. Your warrior presence was perfect to bounce my femaleness against. You were a perfect provider always living within your means so I felt secure but you prepared for me too. I’ll never have to buy tooth brushes, soap, envelopes,magnifying glasses, nails, tape, band aids and more for the rest of my life. I see now you thought ahead  and dismantled computer updates on banking knowing how frustrated I’d be. Mostly you provided support as I followed my dream of making pictures and writing and illustrating kid’s book. Best of all you totally loved me, holding nothing back.

John you left me with the deep pain of missing you and equally I’m left with an immense joy for life and for my work. I thanked you often for shopping, doing the dished so I could have more drawing time, I thanked you for providing the stuff of life. Now that you’re gone for awhile I thank you for loving me, and as a provider, that great duty and joy for man, I thank you for the great power and strength within me you I hadn’t realized before.

I love you John- can’t wait to see you later.  nancymauerman.com


The Bead

The Bead

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