Deep Fried Platypuses, Miniture Vampires And The Portrait Of The Envelope Operator- OUTSIDER ART

If this is a portrait of you; why are you sitting on an open drawer? Are you all alone? Is the next drawer above you, also open, filled with spoons, spices, heavy with rare coins, or packed full of deep fried platypuses?

People are peeking out through holes in your clothing so let me ask you: are these people you, from ages past? Do you, as a six year old, sometimes play with your food while sitting in a four star restaurant because you’re again six and decided you don’t like the taste of something, although it had a pretty name on the menu? Do you pile the stuff up in an impressive mound then dive bomb it with your desert fork?

Perhaps those living with you, inside your clothing, are friends and enemies who have affected and formed you? Are they different functions and personality traits of yours? Maybe they’re zombie vampires eating away at you from the inside? Maybe their names are Smoking, or Over Eating Brownies, or Alice?


Are the white spots in the sky area clouds or giant popcorn pieces? Have the popcorn appendages, the popcorns’ arms and legs, blown off the main kernel, or have they been snapped off by the alligator, or startled into space by the strange sun?

Are flowers falling from an overhead moon or are red apples pierced by green pencils raining down from popcorn clouds?


Sticker Tree, But I Have Questions

Holes are drilled into the board that support this painting; holes being the opposite of protruding thorns.

Solid blue or multicolor bands hug both sides of each branch and the trunk. Is this music incarnate? Are trees magnets to music or is the big plant sounding off as it grows?

Are you up that tree? Are you howling at heaven, singing the blues, or are you punctured by thorns? I need to know.

Mothers, Do You Want Kids With Jumping Bean Heads?

Each jumping bean below is as empty as my friend, who has a hole in her head. The little bug ate its way out and the bean will no longer move. Once upon a time a mommy stopped at a pet store saying, “Stay in the car and I’ll bring you a birthday present! I’ll finally get you that pet you’ve been begging for!”

The child waited and dreamed of puppies, kittens, and bunnies. The ‘mom’ brought out a jumping bean!

The six jumping beans below are drawn in children’s Crayola Crayon. What is it that great people (people with major talents and skills) have in common? Year after year, researchers have studied accomplished people’s diets, types of education, personal discipline programs, and more. Every study comes to the same conclusion: Their moms have spent a great deal of good time with them.

Be FAMOUS-Do Nothing

Create a unique car, never before seen, and the salesman says, “I’m famous because I’ve learned about the car, I’ve communicated, and I’ve sold it! I am famous!”

The same thing is happening in the art world where the gallery people say, “The artist conceived of something new, created the thing, but they are nothing. It is I who actually turned the picture into art when I communicated and convinced a buyer to buy it!”

In the book, ‘The Memory of Blood’, by Christopher Fowler a character explained that when he was young the youth of the day aspired to be nurses and policemen. To be of service and fulfill a duty. Now people want to be famous for doing nothing!

The painting below is called, Cranberry Queen of Portland.

Snake Up a House Tree

A few miles away lives a small simple house which looked as if  a big full- sized pine tree grew straight up out the living room’s pointed roof! I thought, “I must have seen that wrong. I must have seen a tree growing close behind the house and merged the two images in my crazy mind.’

What I thought I saw was correct! I never did knock on the door asking to see inside. I’m still too busy inventing various interior decorating scenarios. How did the human inhabitants close off the holes, floor and ceiling, around the big trunk? Did they hang traditional red barns or tree pictures on their walls?

I’d add sky lights at the top and open them so the lizards or snakes, who lived with me inside, could step out to sun themselves or grab a bite to eat. Then the critters would scramble back in, so I could rub each one under his chin.