Prevent Squirrels From Ever Stealing Bird Food.

Several squirrels claim my yard, one with a two inch (cat bobbed) tail and another with a tail completely stripped of hair and looking like a black, slightly bent, fine wire. One of my boys, whom I see most often, yanks my bonsai out of their pots. He leaves the tiny trees along side their opts, with exposed roots. The trees look like large fallen chunks of cheese on toothpicks. The squirrel plants peanuts in the small residue of remaining soil. I’ve talked to him about it and as a result if he sees me, he’ll sit by the potted bonsai, peanut in mouth all ready to go, and wait! The second I look away he pulls his trick. When I turn back, I see the damage, retrieve his nut, replant OUR tree, and call out to him. He stops mid- romp, sits, turns, and waits to see where I thrown his prize. If I don’t toss it far enough he’ll wait me out, return and replant it where I found it.
For a few years John distressed himself over “my squirrels” because they ate “his” bird’s’ food. John tried everything but one day he decided TO FEED THE SQUIRRELS instead of the birds. Now he enjoys watching the big rodents eat and the birds sharing their food, but he’s especially entertained by the bonsai trick.  nancymauerman.com

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My Mate Brings Me Sticks

This afternoon I came home from a test performed in a hospital that demanded a few nasty preparations plus not eating for over twenty four hours. A hospital worker gave John a free breakfast ticket which he used while he waited. Later at home he said, I have something for you.” and gently pulled out a white rolled up package from his overall pocket. He walked toward me. He bent, cradling the thing in both hands and worked the napkin around and away from a sausage!
We both laughed at the bare skinny thing, in its slightly stained open napkin. It looked about as inviting as a severed finger. How sweet of him to think of me, but we decided John’s friend the blue jay would love it better than me.  nancymauerman.com

Intent: More Important Than Action

As clinical depression pulls down, I can usually turn its energy back on itself and go forward; occasionally not. Recently I was bogging around near bottom and asked John to rent me a movie. Something to distract me a little while I was waiting it out. He was so happy to DO SOMETHING to help and brought home a story about several people whose lives converged while they waited out 28 days (and here’s the jewel of the story) before the earth is completely OBLITERATED by a meteor!!! I was surprised.
I was already at that ‘waiting for the Earth to end’ place! Then I saw where John’s mind had been!!! Here’s John’s thinking scenario:” Nancy needs help”, “Oh boy! Oh boy! She knows how I can help”, “Get a movie, get a movie”, “I need to find a very good movie!”, “She likes stories about people and you can’t get better than meteors. This is perfect! This has everything!”
John was so gleeful, and then he hit a stupor of a wall, when I wasn’t. I’m glad he doesn’t understand depression and the entire situation was so funny I watched that handful of pathetic people who then pathetically waited for the end, and who’d never discovered an eternal truth in their entire lives, including the last 28 days of it, and when the movie was over I went to bed.
I practice finding good surprises; as a result some of the “not good” ones are bizarrely funny.  nancymauerman.com

A Laughing Mind Will Bring Surprises To Your Door Repeatedly

He was awaken by pounding on his front door. John was a young man and had been sleeping for hours. He groggily stumbled out of bed to the door as the knocking continued. He pulled the door open and through sleep filled eyes saw a policeman standing there with a young woman. The policeman said, “Can she stay with you?”
I consider myself fortunate to have a life filled with positive surprises. John’s memory makes me laugh out loud; I almost asked him not to explain the rest of the story because the not knowing is so delicious. As I promised, here is a photo of some of oddities, decorating my home and thrilling my eye
If you can’t enjoy the small things in life you won’t even see the big ones.  nancymauerman.com
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Enjoy Small; A Rain Poem

Today every houses’ roof in town looks new, all cars appear to be newly washed, the streets and sidewalks have been polished until they shine.
Now I own so many diamonds my green jewelry boxes can’t hold them.Clumps of brilliant stones tumble over their green sides as if leaves are letting plump, overflowing raindrops slip to the ground.
God saturates the air with the scent.  He nurtures muddy soil and the crisp ozone air as He plays soft Orffian music for anyone who will hear.  nancymauerman.com

leaf and drops of water

leaf and drops of water

Enjoy Small Things – Funny Book; Real Situation!

Ever hear someone say, “How did that happen?” or “What a terrible thing! I just heard about it!” or better yet, “The other guy did it; better punish him!”
In my book, Bearos (free as an eBook for a few more days at Amazon) a young girl finds herself in hilarious situations. Is she creating a back history, and projecting forward crazy explanations or did the Bearos really lick all the frosting off Dad’s birthday cake? Children, and adults a like, laugh out loud; they seem to “know” the Bearos are a fiction. I’m not totally convinced. Let me know what you think.  nancymauerman.com

Long Hair And Babies Falling On The Sidewalk

I love visual surprises: oddities lay around in my house, I like word pictures, and imaginings. Three types of succulent plants live on my window sills happily growing babies at the tip ends of their leaves. These babies grow a dangling set of roots and a rosette of maybe six or seven leaves before they fall off hoping to hit dirt. I live just blocks away from fast food, a grocery, sports, a clothing stores, banks, and a Value Village.  I see many pedestrians walk by every day. Can you imagine them dropping babies off their fingers as they stroll by? Or I might admire a fancy manicure on a check out lady and say,”Have you named those triplets on your left small finger nail yet?” Or, “Ooops,did you know one of your babies just fell in my bag along with the corn chips? It looks like a boy. Do you what him? If not, I know someone who wants more kids.”
A word picture hit deep and came out just right last night. In a scripture study group I was asked if there was a difference between ‘happiness’ and’ joy’. I insisted ‘Yes” and when asked to explain I said, “Ask a woman in labor.” Even now those words jerk me back and forth from one mental / emotional side of my brain and spirit to another. I’ve never carried a baby to term, but I understand.
John carried me on a nice, word, road trip when he told me of walking down a Salt Lake City street with his long, down to his waist, hair swishing, Guys driving up from behind would whistle. As they drove by they twisted around in their seats to see if the face, they’d committed their compliment to, fit their dream’s image. They saw John’s bushy beard, not quit as long as his hair. Their hand indications hinted that they did not enjoy their visual surprise but they certainly did have verbiage pictures to share.
As for oddities laying around my house I’ll show you on Tuesday.  nancymauerman.com

Families An Enemy?

A few days ago 60 Minutes discussed North Korea’s “Reeducation Camps” with an escapee. The intent of the camps seemed not only to punish, and reeducate but to completely demolish families by:
1. not allowing them spend time together
2. providing everything; food, clothing,shelter, and work
3. providing all education
60 Minutes then insisted neither Mao nor Stalin did such a thing. Did what? Destroy three generations of a family at once? I’m not so sure. I am sure from reading books by the supporters of these two men that they did “reeducate” through forced labor (which most didn’t live through) One member of a family could cause the entire family to be punished for a  “misdeed” (including difference of political thought). Torture, scanty food and clothing and shelter was provided for their misery.
MSNBC features a beautiful and educated woman explaining the channel’s purpose and main message to our nation is this: we are wrong to think “our children BELONG to US. They don’t!!! THEY ARE OWNED BY THE COMMUNITY!”
Many have already insisted on calling women “workers”, and they should not be bothered by having to raise their children (it’s too hard), the state is responsible for providing housing, food, and a job (some say a spending allowance).  This all sounds chillingly familiar to me and I remember what my mother taught me,”When we give too much power to people, most all of them will misuse it.”
As an author of children’s books my purpose has been more subtle. I hope to encourage parents in the most difficult, most rewarding, and important job on earth; raising children and to bind their families together. I also hope to stretch children’s horizons and imaginations, as well as give them a piece of family life so they will grow up to be more than A WORKER!
I,m offering my very funny book, Bearos free as an eBook, at Amazon, for several days and hope you try it and give me feed back.  nancymauerman.com

“I Taught College A Thing Or Two!”

After a few years of good grades John was sent to the office; the Administration Office. They wanted to know where his college and high school transcripts were.
“I don’t have any.” He told them.
“What does that mean?” and, “What high school did you attend?”
John’s answer, “I didn’t”
“You didn’t graduate?”
“Nope; and I didn’t go either.”
“You can’t do that!” they insisted but he continued to go to classes anyway, even sneaking his mother into the especially good ones with him.
I taught my college a few things too. I experimented with a new writing style on the entrance essay. The college people were not at all impressed, told me I should go back to high school, and I had experimented in the wrong place, but I called every other day until I wore them down and graduated with honors.nancymauerman.com

Outsider Art Frames Are Neck Ties

“What comes first, the picture or the frame?” I’m often asked. Generaly I make the picture first but sometimes empty fames fill my wall waiting for ideas. So usually I run upstairs when a picture is partially done to my three dressers. They’re jammed full of objects segregated by color. I load up a large purse full of toys, plumbing supplies, kitchen implements, camera parts, more toys, and mystery oddities. Then I cluster various color combinations and shapes around my picture as it lies on the floor. Then I remove all, and replacing with other oddities around the perimeter.
Sometimes what I see in framing objects spins off into a new picture.  nancymauerman.com
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