Your VILLAGE Owes Me A Pumpkin As Outsider Art

“Do you have forty seven cents? I’m a little short.” a woman said to John as he waited in a Walmart line. In her cart she had a large bottle of root beer and a big pumpkin.

“I’m out of change. Have you thought about a smaller pumpkin?” John said.

“I can’t do that! My kids need this.”

“Why did you decide I needed to buy you the biggest pumpkin?”

“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE MY KIDS” she said and huffed off, adding a giant bag of M and M’s to her cart, to find a better place to check out!

She probably went home wondering what went wrong, after all she said all the CORRECT WORDS; ‘we need to have’, ‘do you have’ and ‘takes a village’.

I find her idea of ‘village’ chilling. I think of the economic/ social system in which the majority of marriages and families were broken on purpose, all were expected to obey authority without question or complaint, and housing, food and health care were provided for ‘free’. This is extremely offensive to me. In our country any people, many years ago, lost their lives years ago because of this system.

In the picture below called, Understanding Plastic Vanities, you’re inside your own face looking out through your open mouth and nose holes at a strange world. Perhaps a world where people plead, “Please let me be a slave!”

Understanding Plastic Vanities – Framed

Outsider Art And A Secret Code

My friend’s children have a secret code with their mother. When her children come to her or call on the phone saying, “Mom this is something I really really want!” Mother knows it’s code for, “I’m with friends and don’t know how to get out of doing this activity but it doesn’t seem like a good idea. Please say. ‘No!'”

The painting below called, White Ellie, Jane, Clara and Sam and the Secret Code. It has two themes, one is about contrasts; warm/ cool,  dark/ light,  dull colors and the tiny bit of bright yellow,  rounded/ and the tiny bit of straight lines, dull surface/ shinny plastic discs on the frame and three line of four shinny clear spots over the picture itself.

The second theme is a story about three trees growing in a row, three hills in a row and children standing behind White Ellie on a tree.

White Ellie Jane Clara and Sam – Framed

Hexed Husband

“Oh, no!” John said as if he was throwing words and I just HAPPENED to be in the their direction. He was standing in front of the calendar.
“What’s the problem?” I asked him
“It’s almost Halloween!” John said.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Bad Memories! You know how I like to hang out with women. Well when I was twenty seven I was ostracized by witches and I had to keep my head in the sand.”

Grocery Store Grazing, Grandma’s Snake Cakes, And Outsider Art

I don”t know how you were raised but when my mother caught me grazing on produce at the grocery when I was about eight and told me I was shop lifting! Red grapes are very good this year and I can’t buy a zip lock bag of the juicy things without finding evidence of incomplete mothering. I wasn’t surprised. I see this every year. What did surprise me was the equivalent of outsider art LIFE. I found only one bag left of my cat’s brand of crunchy food on Walmart’s shelf. The bag’s corner was torn open and there was evidence of GRAZING! I guess the person was not so much hungry as embarrassed to munch on cat food at home in front of his felines.

The Outsider Art painting below called, Grandmother’s Snake Cakes, also brings back fond grocery memories. John and my daughter Anna ate pistachios at every meal, and in between, so I could glue perfect half shells to Grandmother’s Snake Cake’s frame. Every day, for weeks, I’d say, “Sorry guys. I need you to eat only one more bag.” John bought several bags at a time but we still went back to the store every day, except for Sundays, for weeks.

Grandma's Snake Cakes - Framed

Grandma’s Snake Cakes – Framed

Kitty One And Kitty Two In The Toilet

Ever hear of someone blaming their problems on others? in my book Bearos Kathy says, “I got blamed for Kitty One and Kitty Two swimming in the toilet. The bearos were just washing the fish water off so they could eat them!”
A lot is implied here but kids get it. Kathy’s been wanting a cat and is blaming ‘parental stinginess’ for her actions. My adult friends who have read Bearos use the term, “Kitty One and Kitty Two” to explain this social problem in their homes and in our community at large.

Are Dust Bunnies Really Bears?

One letter has several qualities, position in the alphabet, shape, name etc but it has only one purpose: the letter represents a sound.
Each word has qualities also but it represents many ideas.
I had a slow difficult time learning to read but my teacher, Mrs. Platz, read stories to my class as a treat. I wanted those stories and worlds, hidden in code, created by all those words.
I write children’s books to create yummy worlds, fun stories, created by words of course but I play with words so they don’t seem like monsters to slow readers. A page from my book, Bears, is ‘The Bears’ big feet break Paul’s shoes, then their legs invaporste so it looks like they didn’t do it.’ Bearos is free as an eBook for a short time at Amazon. Have fun.

This Book, Bearos, Is A Stretch Tool

In the Outsider painting below called Not Night, is the person below a boy or grandma? Laughing or crunching nuts? Being showered in salt water or sun rays? Maybe a cheese lover is doing a cha cha dance between GIANT rounds of cheddar. We can see a thirty foot tall side slab of one behind the happy person, named George, thirteenth in line after older cheese loving sisters and has been lead to this paradise by….. You fill in the story.

Hang an Outsider painting on your wall and every member of your family can stretch their minds into a new story every day! All creative families have them hanging like the family in the book Bearos. Every other page is illustrated  in Crayola Crayon, and contains an Outsider painting as part of the scene. The opposing page shows a photograph of the actual painting. Download Bearos book now; free as an eBook for a short time on Amazon.

Questions Just Might Be The Answer To World Problems!!!

The picture below, Death Tree, is made to cause questions but not answer a single one. My children’s book Bearos starts in a corner chair and ends there too. The story in between explains why! But the most important part of the book is snuggling on the floor in a nest of blankets, or on a fluffy bed, or with the reader and listeners all piled at one end of the couch like a big lumpy many headed animal. Children turn pages, the older person reads AND ASKS QUESTIONS!!!! Why did this happen? Would you have done this? Anyone you know do the same type of thing? How else could the child have solved this particular problem? If the little girl had been a manatee would she still want a kitty?

RESULTS: person to person bonding, a knowing we belong to each other, learning not to be passive, to question, establish the joy of reasoning, developing wisdom, solving problems together, creative thinking, love of books and learning. And lucky you; Bearos is offered free for a short time as an eBook at Amazon. See how many odd questions you can dream up, the crazier the better!

Death Tree – Framed

Anna And The Bear Cause Trouble

I didn’t light the candles. John wasn’t home. Eight year old Anna wouldn’t have done it because I told her not to and I knew the hamster didn’t do it because he didn’t have opposable thumbs!
I asked Anna, knowing this was a waste of time because she was perfectly beautiful, perfectly wonderful, perfectly obedient, perfectly wise, perfectly powerful, perfectly centered, perfectly smart, perfectly… well, you get the picture.
Anna said, “No, Mom. I didn’t light the candles.”
When John came home I explained this wonderfully strange MYSTERY! He listened quietly, no words just like a guy, then turned directly to Anna saying, “Did your evil twin do this?” to which Anna happily said,”Yes!”
Sometimes kids lie to protect their moms.

I broadened this Anna story into a children’s book called Bearos, now available free at amazon as an eBook.
One of my favorite pages says, “Mother got mad because she found mud inside the watermelon.” This was another Anna trick: eat the sweet center of a cut melon, into a cavernous hole, with DIRTY FINGERS!

From the book Bearos

From the book Bearos