A typical conversation between two men is; “There are no leaks.” That’s John, then Eric from the water company says, “The meter count is over 300 above your average.” Three minutes of silence and John says, “I sent the guy out.” Three more minutes of silence and the Eric says, “OK.” Four minutes of silence….and so it goes on as slow as congress fixing the economy.
A conversation between two women is typically like this, “Did you see that poodle with pink hair? I know someone who…”  I’ll call this lady Margaret.
So while Margaret talks, her friend Nancy is; 1/4 listening, 1/4 THINKING about her Grandma’s poodle, hit by a car, but dragging itself on two legs, and saving old granny from a burning building. The next 1/4 of Nancy’s mind is thinking, all and at the same time, “Hurry up! Hurry up! I’ve got something to say.” The LAST 1/4 of Nancy’s brain is gauging Margaret’s thoughts and cuts her off just before she can finish speaking.
Then it’s Nancy’s turn, and while she’s telling about Grandma’s remarkable poodle, Margaret partly listens, forms a connecting but COMPLETELY separate topic, waits to interrupt in a polite place, and HER crazy head monkeys are jumping up and down, yelling, “Hurry up! Hurry up! I have something to say!”
Can you imagine how many head monkeys are hopping during a woman’s convention on the economy?
I like both men’s and women’s talk but I’ve discovered a secret about life! While I’m ‘listening”, I sometimes tell myself, “Hey, try this out. You didn’t die the last time you tried this, so you’ll be OK.  Just listen.  Don’t tell Margaret about Grandma’s puddle, although the information you would have given her might save her life someday.  Just listen.  What is she TRYING to say between the words she using?  Maybe comment on that later, much later, maybe you’ll say nothing at all.”
Let me tell you, there are monkeys hiding in the corners of my mind that only jump out at these moments! But when they wear themselves out. then I have a remarkable experience. Something I can’t explain happens when I listen between the words.
In my second book in the Leafman series, A Plethora of Monsters, Anna and her grandmother have a crazy-fun conversation, of half listening and always talking to each, other. The subjects of their talk are; 102 boxes of monsters and that awful attacking Leafman. This great fun is found on Amazon and is an especially good story for Halloween.  nancymauerman.com