Run Spot Run
Dick and Jane’s Spot
got in their Halloween candy
and ate the chocolate.

Tesla, My Cat and String Theory
Tesla eats string and soon
Processed cat food stuck to it
Chases him ‘cross the room.  nancymauerman.com

Insurance companies lost so much in Noah’s time.  nancymauerman.com

I’ve seen statues of angels and they don’t have poorly maintained pony tails and bushy beards but one of this type lives at my house. When John finds a good buy on something “important” he gleefully make the purchase. He practically butt dances on the bench seat of his little truck driving home and he plants the precious thing in the middle of the living room floor. Then he begins looking for a home for his strange pet.
“Denice could use this.” He once announced. “I’m not sure she’ll like it or need it.” I said. “Oh, yes she will!” He answered and when he saw a doubtful look on my face he added, “She just doesn’t know it yet. Give her ten years and she’ll look back and say, ‘That was exactly what I needed I just didn’t understand that at first.'”
When the thing was delivered Denice thanked John in a way that assured him that he’d fulfilled her fondest dream, whether she knew it or not.
We’re now looking for a home for a giant box containing 2000 feet of cling wrap! I’ve moved it into the kitchen even though John hasn’t yet tied of creating prose poetry expounding its virtues.  nancymauerman.com

I’ve been hearing advertisments for a male enhancement drug applied to the skin in the underarm area. The warning cautions this skin area should never touch females and kids, the drug should not be handled by them nor taken by them or any man under the age of 18.
First of all I”m wondering; what man at 18 needs male enhancement? My second thought is; we could make a T.V. movie about this product. A very nasty guy pretends to like people so all summer long, without a shirt, he wraps his arm over the shoulders of his victims and says, “HI pal. How are you?”  nancymauerman.com

John was so delighted when Amy brought him three large cans with plastic lids. He also couldn’t stop talking about a a tiny Halloween visitor who’d looked dazed and confused on our porch as he asked her, “Do you know what a glow stick is? Do you want a glow stick?” He waited through her silence then asked, “Do you want a chocolate?” He listened to her silence and dropped one into her bag beside the glow stick. “Do you want another?” A silence, another candy, and another question, “Do want another candy?” and so she as a result of a furthered silence she left with three chocolates.
My favorite visitor came huddled in the midst of a large group of polite teens. “Does anyone like red pens?” John called out. Some kind of vague response was given and he when to work giving everyone first a glow stick, then three chocolates, then red pens, and not a pen each, BUT AN ENTIRE PACKAGE OF TEN RED PENS! Our porch couldn’t quite contain everyone at once so the group, like a swarm of eels, rotated itself up and down the stairs and in and out itself so each of its portions could be graced by John’s beneficence.
Finally John dropped the last pack, he’d brought out, into a bag and asked, “Did everyone get red pens?” and a small voice answered, “If you don’t have a pen left its OK, but if you don’t mind I”d like a chocolate. You don’t have to give me a pen.”
The teens parted around an old homeless guy and John asked him to wait and loaded him up with a glow stick, three chocolates and a pack of pens.
As john closed the door he over heard a teen making his way down the sidewalk wondering out loud, “Red Pens?” which thrilled John no end. He loves creating a new way to looking at old things.
Near the end of yesterday, as he remembered a perfect Halloween and gloated over his gift of new used tin cans he said, “No one could have told me at twenty that at sixty-two I’d be so excited by empty cans!” Senility or true joy?  nancymauerman.com

I’m just now beginning to feel normal. John moped around, while I spent a few days depressed, and when he saw me would try to cheer me up with things like, “Do want me send you to a nursing home?’ Then in response to my answering mumble he’d say. “Think about it. They do all the cooking. Its just like Disneyland, but everyday.”
I’d shaken off the depression for a few minutes to catch another segment in John’s interest in Duluth pants. John had spent so much time with a plumper looking for a leak, that never existed, that male bonding took place. John wanted to express his enjoyment through fire hose pants and left a call for his new friend. I caught the strange conversation as the plumber returned his call.
Plumper, “Do you find a leak after all?”
John, “What size pants do you wear?”
Long long silence, then the plumber, “What?” and John repeated the question.                     Then I heard a set of measurement given then and the guy said, “Why?”                        John said he wanted to give him a pair of pants. After all the he, the plumber, never found a leak therefore it was basically a waist of the plumber’s valuable time.                                    “Oh, you don’t have to do that!”                                                                                               To which John said, “I’m a grown up. I can do anything!” Then there was another long silence.
Then John explained the he’s just discovered the glory of fire hose pants and their lifetime guaranty.                                                                                                                                    The socially conscience plumber lost it. Lost his ‘correctness’ that is and practically yelled, “OK!”
Now John’s shown Amy the fire hose commercial on the computer and she’s ordering a pair as a Christmas gift for her husband.  nancymauerman.com