Years ago, Amy was “blessed” with an eye problem and as a result she could sit in a room full of the arachnids hanging over her head from the ceiling and never know her potential doom. But one day her home bound employer spotted a spider on the ceiling and, being an eight legged bug hating woman, she panicked. Amy’s employer became the eyes of the project; Amy the broom handle director. “Over to the left! Over to the left! No, too far! Yes, right there! Get it! Get it!” But as John can also attest to and Amy with wide eyes and projecting in the upper level of her vocal spectrum, and at full volume recalled, “Poke a spider with a stick” and the little fellow will skidder right down the handle! Like a car on a fast track!

The implications were these: the thing would surely bite her in the eye, or lodge in her hair and never to come out even after a hundred shampooings!  It would only dialogue upon a head shaving, but then would jump down her collar, biting her a hundred million times on its way to her socks!
The spider ran down Amy’s broom handle and when it got close enough to have easily stepped from the broom handle to Amy’s nose, even SHE COULD SEE IT! The entire house was filled with an opera of screaming women. The spider wandered off the broom handle, it having been flung to the floor, to hide some new place.
I’ve got to admit if a spider is moving AT me fast, I might peep a few loud sounds, but otherwise I like the little guys and have even immortalized one inside a glassed self- portrait. It crawled under the glass itself and died. I left it feeling it made some kind of social statement about me.nancymauerman.com

I don’t get along with people very well;
I think they know I’m jealous,
Of my self

A thought outside the box,
by John  nancymauerman.com

John

The guys from church go deep sea fishing together at least one a year but, from this blogging chair, it looks to me like they BUY the opportunity to be sea sick in front of their friends. Recently they went a second time along with their wives. Kathy was sick, but decided she might as well catch a fish as well, and stayed up top. This sounds smart to me. Why would you go below; to SHARE the ambiance and the scent of the group’s previous meals? Kathy didn’t catch anything but proudly told me her daughter, Marianne, had caught the biggest and best fish.
I talked to Brian, another day, who’d given Marianne permission to claim “her” fish after having done at least half the reeling in when her arms gave out. He also reeled in his Dad’s and several others’ fish too. I think he might not have claimed the biggest fish or even brought one home but, he caught the most!
Years ago, I and another wife, lake fished with our husbands, hers being an overly serious man, without one lick of humor around and about the subject of fishing. He was totally disgusted with my boredom and angry with my resulting chattiness. So he muttered about proper technique and separated himself from my endless talk and propensity to fall in any body of water I find.

If his wisdom holds true fish could not only hear my talk but could feel its vibrations down my line and into the water. Evidently the fish liked my chatty vibes better than his cranky ones. The more I talked the more I caught. The angry husband caught so few he rented a boat and from shore I could see him glare as I gleefully and noisily caught more. The situation was so ridiculous I laughed. I tried not to, I really did. I laughed not just at life but I laughed because of life’s supreme boobs. And the more laughed the faster I caught them!  nancymauerman.com